'Lula' is not a fitting name for a politician. Maybe it would work for a sausage dog or a popstar, but certainly not a president. It is about as appropriate as having a king called 'Ian' or a binman called 'Horatio-Augustus'. 'Bolsonaro', on the other hand, well, that's a name you can take to the bank and maybe dress up in a uniform too.
I cannot say I care awfully what happens day-to-day in Brazil. Domestically we produce enough idiocy every week to sustain us until at least the next millennium. Nevertheless, reports of 'Lula''s inauguration show that the daemon of woke increasingly haunts each corner of this sorry world.
Upon being sworn in for his third pop at the job, President 'Lula' made the absurd statement that the previous administration had allowed a 'genocide' to take place during Covid-19, causing the deaths of 680,000 Brazilians. It's a peculiar claim given that Brazil ranks a paltry 20th in the deaths-per-million league tables, beaten by the likes of Peru, Montenegro and San Marino. Maybe there has been a Sanmarinese genocide, but it's the first I've heard about it.
More plainly, it's just a stupid thing to say. Then again, nobody ever claimed that South American politicians are noted for their reluctance to reach for hyperbole. In announcing that 'the nightmare [of Bolsonaro's rule] is over', Lula put remaining doubts to bed.
President Tallulah, sorry, 'Lula', repeated his desire to turn Brazil into a 'green superpower', whatever that may mean. Superpowers tend to rely, at some point, on hard power: the kind of stuff projected by steel, munitions and jet fuel. Presumably the president will think of a way round this, perhaps deploying squadrons of oar-powered hollowed-out tree-trunks manned by slingshot-wielding mariners.
With the corruption and embezzlement that he was until recently behind bars for, such military expenditure will be all the coffers can likely afford anyway. It, however, would be more in keeping with his ambition to be a president fully signed up to the environmentalist agenda.
'Lula' is also not keen on Brazilian citizens being armed either. The last president had loosened gun ownership policies: as everyone knows, the left disdain the citizen's right to self-defence and want them utterly reliant on the state's monopoly of violence. The only problem is that Brazil is, for want of a better word, quite murder-y. Homicides there were 22.3 per 100,000 in 2021 (falling from a spicy 30.9 in 2017). This compares to about 1.1 per 100,000 in the UK. With those kinds of stats I think I would want a shooter as well.
'Lula' disagrees: "Brazil does not want more weapons, it wants peace and security for its people." Fine words butter no parsnips, nor chamber any rounds.
A quote from The Telegraph – after dutifully labelling Bolsonaro 'far right', natch – is worth quoting at length to get a feeling for the festival of performative virtue that the inauguration day was:
“After the swearing-in, Mr Lula drove in an open-top Rolls-Royce to the Planalto palace, where he walked up its ramp with his wife and a diverse group that included Chief Raoni Metuktire of the Kayapó tribe, a young Black boy and a disabled man.
“He was then handed the presidential sash – a hugely symbolic act in Brazil that Mr Bolsonaro had repeatedly said he would never do – by Aline Sousa, a Black garbage collector.
“Tens of thousands who had gathered to celebrate on Brasilia's esplanade cheered as Lula wiped away tears.”
Tears of self-love, perhaps. Reported elsewhere is that the 'diverse group' included a rapper as well, but I cannot find information as to whether any LGBTQ+ representatives were present, which will disappoint many. High, but not full, Marx for the effort, nonetheless.
And so, if this South American inauguration is anything to go by it seems that 2023 will be much the same as the year it left behind: wearyingly woke.
One might also carefully point out that 'Lula' possibly had the behind-the-scenes support of certain parts of the US government usually called the 'Deep State'. It would seem quite possible that Brazil under Lula might abandon her support for Russia and China's work to establish another economic scheme bypassing the US $, for starters.
Will Harry+Meghan be tempted to take a private jet flight to Brasilia to present Loopy Lula with their brand of approval I wonder?
Or a low carbon seal of approval from Greta Thumbelina?
Another Netflix special threatened.....