The Tories: 50% women, 0% conservative
The ceaseless, boundless wisdom of the Conservative Party
ANY man reading these words will know how easy it can be. One moment you are looking at agricultural equipment, the next you are indulging in pornographic treats. Yes: the path from tractors to titillation is a short one.
Neil Parish, MP for Tiverton and Honiton, was caught watching some blue stuff on his phone in the House of Commons and so will resign. Given the level of media coverage, it is undoubtedly another Crime Of The Century and makes for cracking, endless yarn for our tiresome media.
Given that Neil Parish – undoubtedly a prat – is a white, middle-aged male, no more discussion or proof is needed. He is guilty by virtue of his identity. Other Members of Parliament guilty of debauchery or worse not only hold onto their seats, but are left well alone. Only the acutest of minds might perceive why.
Conservative in name only, Parish’s party has reacted with predictably moronic, woke fervour. Oliver Dowden, Chairman of the Conservative Party, met the news with the stunning/brave/bold announcement that, at the next election, half of the party’s candidates will be women.
Having got one person closer to that goal recently with the revelation of the Tory party’s first male-to-female transgender MP, any stale males worried about being booted out to make way for a woman will just have to announce that, after many years of inner turmoil and struggle, they are transitioning.
Transitioning into a woman, of course. No Conservative Members of Parliament – prospective or otherwise – will be expected to transition into an, err, conservative or anything so ghastly. The party, so committed dancing the toxic dance of the reality-bending left, could never countenance such a thing.
One name being put forward as a replacement for the tractor-obsessed Neil Parish MP is Sir David Frost. As a Lord, he would have to resign his seat in the upper house and be elected to the Commons. That his genitalia are wrong, however, suggests that he is at a disadvantage from the start. May I suggest his rebranding to Lady Davina Frost?
For the Conservative party, the consideration is not who would make the best MP, but what. The idea that the individual best suited for the position is the one who should get it is far too reactionary and conservative for the ‘Conservative’ party. Much better that we gauge the calibre of our elected officials by the equipment they sport in their underpants.
Today’s Conservative Party: obsessed with green madness, full believers in tax-and-spend, advocates of micro-managing the lives of the citizenry, fully committed to the eradication of basic biological fact, utterly unable to control our borders, and now dying to get people elected purely on the basis of their ‘gender identity’.
Nothing will ever get better with these charlatans in charge.
At first, Neil Parish apologised and declared it "a moment of madness". Then he said he was "looking for tractors," but somehow he mistyped everything and ended up looking at porn instead. Now, what if instead of the weasel lies, he had said: “I’ll tell you what I was looking at. None of your God damn business, that’s what!” At least he could have kept his dignity.
Yesterday, it was reported in the Telegraph that he was looking for a Dominatrix. Funny, because my-ex is in to that. But seriously, this seems quite common amongst those in positions of authority but who lead empty soulless lives. I could end up feeling quite sorry for him. He is to be pitied.
So presumably the Tory’s are going to ditch some of their MPs and replace them with women? Well, that should cure the problem because, or so this hopelessly naive thinking goes, women are just better and purer human beings. While I’m all up for more Ann Widdicomes, that is not what we will get. It will be more Angela Rayner and Jess Phillips clones and life will be tyranny.
(Wasn’t it Harriet Harman who actually expensed her male-on-male porn habit but then just blamed it on her husband?)
I’ve long come to conclusion that all this needs to happen, though it will come at terrible cost. Those men leading us are such pitiful and self-despising people, that they have gladly dumped all their terrible insecurities on all the young boys of future generations and condemned them to hell. Perhaps I should not have pity for Neil Parish after all.
Peasants Revolt, anyone?